Sometimes I worry that I'm treating life like a stop-gap, instead of an opportunity. That I'm spending to much time planning my tomorrows that I'm missing all my todays. Counting down hours to ends instead of experiencing the middles.
I keep looking forward. Waiting for the day I take a leap, do something grand, live a life that's FULL.
I need Courage. Strength. Boldness. Direction.
And I'm thinking, probably a rather large push.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Thoughts from Portland
It’s ridiculously green here, like someone stole all the green crayons from a 64 pack of Crayolas and used them all the way down to a nub. There are trees anywhere and everywhere from the unexpected forest along the train track to the cherry blossom tree in front of a bank in downtown. I’m even appreciating the never ending “scattered showers” that seem to blend together, knowing they are why the landscape is so vibrant and alive.
I like Portland as a city. It’s slower than LA, but it still seems to move. There are people pouring out of buildings with every sort of attire, all heading places with purpose, but courtesy. I’ve about perfected my Portland Pedestrian wave, the jaunty “thank you” that walkers pass over to drivers when they stop. But don’t misunderstand me; Portlanders are not lackadaisical in their movement. Locals check for cars but not for crossing signals, speed limits are acknowledged but not followed exactly. I like the pace. It’s a city getting where it needs to go, but not at the expense of others.
We saw a jug band on Sunday. It was a perfect moment out of time, as we hurried past the persistent food stand hawkers at the Saturday/Sunday Street fair and heard the soft strains of a banjo. There was a man playing washboard percussion and a woman playing the washtub bass. It was an Emmitt Otter’s Jug Band Christmas dream come true.
I’m not ready to leave Oregon. With the beauty of the drives and the convenience of the train, I’m not looking forward to returning to the pavement and rush of “normal life.” But I’ll be back, hopefully in the summertime to view the roses in bloom. :)
I like Portland as a city. It’s slower than LA, but it still seems to move. There are people pouring out of buildings with every sort of attire, all heading places with purpose, but courtesy. I’ve about perfected my Portland Pedestrian wave, the jaunty “thank you” that walkers pass over to drivers when they stop. But don’t misunderstand me; Portlanders are not lackadaisical in their movement. Locals check for cars but not for crossing signals, speed limits are acknowledged but not followed exactly. I like the pace. It’s a city getting where it needs to go, but not at the expense of others.
We saw a jug band on Sunday. It was a perfect moment out of time, as we hurried past the persistent food stand hawkers at the Saturday/Sunday Street fair and heard the soft strains of a banjo. There was a man playing washboard percussion and a woman playing the washtub bass. It was an Emmitt Otter’s Jug Band Christmas dream come true.
I’m not ready to leave Oregon. With the beauty of the drives and the convenience of the train, I’m not looking forward to returning to the pavement and rush of “normal life.” But I’ll be back, hopefully in the summertime to view the roses in bloom. :)
Saturday, September 26, 2009
A Call to Action
I know its been forever since I posted anything, and I really do need to get back into it...
But even more important: you can help end a war. Show the U.S. Government and the world's leaders that we desire to put a stop to the longest running war and end Kony's reign of terror throughout Eastern Africa.
how:
1. Visit www.wewantobama.com
2. Sign the petition calling for President Obama to lead the effort to end the war in Uganda
3. Tell you friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, people you pass on the street to do the same.
Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can change the world.
Thank you.
But even more important: you can help end a war. Show the U.S. Government and the world's leaders that we desire to put a stop to the longest running war and end Kony's reign of terror throughout Eastern Africa.
how:
1. Visit www.wewantobama.com
2. Sign the petition calling for President Obama to lead the effort to end the war in Uganda
3. Tell you friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, people you pass on the street to do the same.
Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can change the world.
Thank you.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Twitter-riffic?
Twitter is the new rage on the internet… people attempting to encapsulate their entire beings into 150 characters (it’s not something I have joined, as I have already written 148 and not said anything…)
But because I haven’t updated, and I want to, but I don’t have the time or the words here is my last 6 months in 150 characters:
Cooking-Cleaning-Knitting. Job Search-Defeat-Concede. Collating-Copying-Collections. Hope: Apply-Interview-Accept. Acholi Beads: San Diego-Sunshine-Uganda-New Beginnings
So… it’s a few more than 150. but I tried….
Coming soon: an actual blog. Hopefully.
Love you all
But because I haven’t updated, and I want to, but I don’t have the time or the words here is my last 6 months in 150 characters:
Cooking-Cleaning-Knitting. Job Search-Defeat-Concede. Collating-Copying-Collections. Hope: Apply-Interview-Accept. Acholi Beads: San Diego-Sunshine-Uganda-New Beginnings
So… it’s a few more than 150. but I tried….
Coming soon: an actual blog. Hopefully.
Love you all
Friday, January 9, 2009
Forgiveness
I’ve been talking to God a lot more lately, and it’s been wonderful. He’s so good at guiding me, teaching me and helping me take steps towards becoming a better woman.
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot today is forgiveness. Not even of others, but of myself. For some reason, it’s easier for me to forgive the actions of others than it is for me to forgive myself.
But I’m learning. To forgive myself for chances I didn’t take and risks I shouldn’t have. For words I spoke to myself that hurt and words I didn’t speak to others to encourage. I’m forgiving myself for the moments I expected more of myself than I could give and asking forgiveness for moments I didn’t do all I could. Forgiveness of dreams I didn’t reach for, hopes I refused to share and weaknesses I didn’t get help with.
Slowly but surely, I’m learning to be kinder to myself. To view myself through the eyes of My Creator, who loves me. The other night I was reading a book, and the author wrote about the sweetest way she views her relationship with God; that whenever He plays Red Rover, he always calls her over… because He always wants her on His team. I’m learning to let that thought soak into my heart… that God wants me on His team, and I’d like to have me on mine, as well. :)
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot today is forgiveness. Not even of others, but of myself. For some reason, it’s easier for me to forgive the actions of others than it is for me to forgive myself.
But I’m learning. To forgive myself for chances I didn’t take and risks I shouldn’t have. For words I spoke to myself that hurt and words I didn’t speak to others to encourage. I’m forgiving myself for the moments I expected more of myself than I could give and asking forgiveness for moments I didn’t do all I could. Forgiveness of dreams I didn’t reach for, hopes I refused to share and weaknesses I didn’t get help with.
Slowly but surely, I’m learning to be kinder to myself. To view myself through the eyes of My Creator, who loves me. The other night I was reading a book, and the author wrote about the sweetest way she views her relationship with God; that whenever He plays Red Rover, he always calls her over… because He always wants her on His team. I’m learning to let that thought soak into my heart… that God wants me on His team, and I’d like to have me on mine, as well. :)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Little Steps
As some of you may or may not know, I haven’t been working since September. It’s definitely by choice (I saved around half of my paychecks for like 7 months to be able to take a vacation), and it’s been a learning/growing experience in the neatest ways.
At the beginning of my work hiatus I made a 3 week-ish trip to Texas to visit Kristen, the other IC intern with me during my time in Uganda. We had many great conversations about life and love and living with others in our view-space. We talked about our family, friends and acquaintances who are spending their days making the world a better place for people they’ve never met, organizations that are working to end injustices and small ways we can make a daily difference.
It’s that last thing I myself am working at… small ways to make a daily difference. For the past few months my days have started to blend together. A mix of learning how difficult it is to keep a 5 bedroom house clean, cooking (and sometimes ruining) meals, trying to figure out how to keep in touch with people all around the world when I despise the telephone and attempting to start exercising again. A year ago “my” world was so big, and now it seems to have shrunk to this one house, a few people and me.
But although my immediate sphere of influence seems to be so small, I still want to make a difference in the world at large, so I’m working towards that… here are a couple things I’ve learned so far
1. I can eat sweets and stop slavery: The cocoa industry is rife with slavery, and many of the “big names” in chocolate (re: Hersey, Lindt, Nestle) claim they are not responsible for ending this practice, because they buy the chocolate from middle men, not the slave owners themselves. In order to use my consumer vote to stop slavery, I’ve begun buying Fair Trade chocolate. Trader Joe’s has their own line of fair trade chocolate, Sprouts sells fair trade chocolate chips and Dagoba brand chocolate can be found in many grocery stores. Yes, it often costs a bit more (1.99 for the bar at TJ) but it is much higher quality and it helps me eat less chocolate. (for more information on slavery and chocolate check out: http://knol.google.com/k/responsible-shoppers/modern-day-slavery/3vc4m1bitkaj4/4# and for more information on where to buy fair trade chocolate: http://knol.google.com/k/responsible-shoppers/responsible-shopping/3vc4m1bitkaj4/3#)
2. While browsing the internet, I can feed a family: many different websites will donate food if you click a button (the food is paid for by the sponsors whose ads appear after you click). So, take a few moments and visit sites like www.thehungersite.com or go to ww.freerice.com and for every correct trivia answer donate 20 grains of rice.
There are more: writing letters to congressmen while writing Christmas cards, learning to practice consumer voting through researching which brands and stores treat their employees well (from production through each selling point), and just educating people with the meager amount of information I’ve accumulated.
I’m not going to lie: I haven’t been doing too well at this yet. The chocolate was easy for me, but even remembering to go to a couple websites a day to feed people sometimes slips my mind. But I’m working towards it. Because I have been blessed SO much in my life, and I just want to do the same for others.
Love you all. Hope everything is going well. And if you are working to change your world for the better, let me know how. I’d love to help. :)
At the beginning of my work hiatus I made a 3 week-ish trip to Texas to visit Kristen, the other IC intern with me during my time in Uganda. We had many great conversations about life and love and living with others in our view-space. We talked about our family, friends and acquaintances who are spending their days making the world a better place for people they’ve never met, organizations that are working to end injustices and small ways we can make a daily difference.
It’s that last thing I myself am working at… small ways to make a daily difference. For the past few months my days have started to blend together. A mix of learning how difficult it is to keep a 5 bedroom house clean, cooking (and sometimes ruining) meals, trying to figure out how to keep in touch with people all around the world when I despise the telephone and attempting to start exercising again. A year ago “my” world was so big, and now it seems to have shrunk to this one house, a few people and me.
But although my immediate sphere of influence seems to be so small, I still want to make a difference in the world at large, so I’m working towards that… here are a couple things I’ve learned so far
1. I can eat sweets and stop slavery: The cocoa industry is rife with slavery, and many of the “big names” in chocolate (re: Hersey, Lindt, Nestle) claim they are not responsible for ending this practice, because they buy the chocolate from middle men, not the slave owners themselves. In order to use my consumer vote to stop slavery, I’ve begun buying Fair Trade chocolate. Trader Joe’s has their own line of fair trade chocolate, Sprouts sells fair trade chocolate chips and Dagoba brand chocolate can be found in many grocery stores. Yes, it often costs a bit more (1.99 for the bar at TJ) but it is much higher quality and it helps me eat less chocolate. (for more information on slavery and chocolate check out: http://knol.google.com/k/responsible-shoppers/modern-day-slavery/3vc4m1bitkaj4/4# and for more information on where to buy fair trade chocolate: http://knol.google.com/k/responsible-shoppers/responsible-shopping/3vc4m1bitkaj4/3#)
2. While browsing the internet, I can feed a family: many different websites will donate food if you click a button (the food is paid for by the sponsors whose ads appear after you click). So, take a few moments and visit sites like www.thehungersite.com or go to ww.freerice.com and for every correct trivia answer donate 20 grains of rice.
There are more: writing letters to congressmen while writing Christmas cards, learning to practice consumer voting through researching which brands and stores treat their employees well (from production through each selling point), and just educating people with the meager amount of information I’ve accumulated.
I’m not going to lie: I haven’t been doing too well at this yet. The chocolate was easy for me, but even remembering to go to a couple websites a day to feed people sometimes slips my mind. But I’m working towards it. Because I have been blessed SO much in my life, and I just want to do the same for others.
Love you all. Hope everything is going well. And if you are working to change your world for the better, let me know how. I’d love to help. :)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Betsy for Christ '08
Last night was the first time I really watched the election results pour in; sitting in front of the computer and TV, seeing states turn blue and red. It was also the first time I was able to see people’s reactions in real time. Thanks to internet resources like Facebook and message boards, I observed some people descend to something akin to despair and others ascend to elation…
And then, as I lie in bed, I started thinking about voting. And how the polls closed in California and immediately the state was painted blue, while in Okalahoma it was painted red. How people may feel discouraged from voting in an election unless they live in a swing state. About how much one vote really “mattered.”
But then, I started thinking about the role of the government in my life and the lives of the people around me. A friend and I were talking about how the government is set up to (hopefully) protect the interests of the country… but how we are created to protect the interests of God’s heart.
And I was reminded of the votes that I cast every day that do matter.
I vote for love when I take the time to stop and listen to my niece when she’s having a bad day, when I look a stranger in the eye and ask how their doing, when I put the needs of a friend before my own.
I vote for justice when I take the time to see how the goods I am purchasing were made and work to ensure that no one else had to suffer so that I am comfortable.
I vote for peace when I write letters to governments and people in power asking them to intervene in situations that may feel outside my control.
I vote for grace when I display forgiveness to others and myself.
I know that too often I try and abdicate my responsibility as a Christ follower. To believe that somehow my country, President, church, family, etc, are the one’s who need to be “Christian” in order for the people in my life to see the love of God. But really, it’s me. I am the one whose actions are supposed to portray Jesus to those around me.
So, however people are feeling about the next president, hope, despondency, apathy; my personal mission doesn’t change: to love God and to love people.
And then, as I lie in bed, I started thinking about voting. And how the polls closed in California and immediately the state was painted blue, while in Okalahoma it was painted red. How people may feel discouraged from voting in an election unless they live in a swing state. About how much one vote really “mattered.”
But then, I started thinking about the role of the government in my life and the lives of the people around me. A friend and I were talking about how the government is set up to (hopefully) protect the interests of the country… but how we are created to protect the interests of God’s heart.
And I was reminded of the votes that I cast every day that do matter.
I vote for love when I take the time to stop and listen to my niece when she’s having a bad day, when I look a stranger in the eye and ask how their doing, when I put the needs of a friend before my own.
I vote for justice when I take the time to see how the goods I am purchasing were made and work to ensure that no one else had to suffer so that I am comfortable.
I vote for peace when I write letters to governments and people in power asking them to intervene in situations that may feel outside my control.
I vote for grace when I display forgiveness to others and myself.
I know that too often I try and abdicate my responsibility as a Christ follower. To believe that somehow my country, President, church, family, etc, are the one’s who need to be “Christian” in order for the people in my life to see the love of God. But really, it’s me. I am the one whose actions are supposed to portray Jesus to those around me.
So, however people are feeling about the next president, hope, despondency, apathy; my personal mission doesn’t change: to love God and to love people.
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