Her Name is Marilyn

At 14, she stands a few inches taller than me, her body still lanky and still to be grown into. Her smile, wide, her eyes, hopeful and the grip of her fingers on my arm, tight.

"Bet-ty, do you remember me?"

Scanning her face, I frantically search my brain- she is familiar, but where from? Joska last year? Modoya? I want to remember - this moment feels important. Don't we all want to be known, to be remembered? To be seen amongst the crowd of faces that crowd around us each day. 

"I do remember you" I reply slowly, still reaching for a name. Esther? Priscilla? Faith? 

Her grin grows and her eyes light up. My heart sinks a bit as I make a decision- it's better to admit defeat than say the wrong thing. I pull her in tight for a quick hug.

"But I'm sorry, I seem to have lost your name."

"It's Marilyn. I remember you from school"

Modoya. 4 years ago.

We spend the next hour together. I learn of her siblings (she is the firstborn of 3, the other are still in Nairobi), her talent (the high jump) and that she knows all the words to the theme song of Sophia the First (of course, there was a performance).

As the bus pulls away, there is another high five. And as I went to bed last night, listening to the rain fall, I prayed a prayer for Marilyn. That she would know that God knows every detail of her life. That He cherishes every part of her. That she is remembered and seen and loved so deeply her heart can't comprehend it.

As for me? I asked Paul to take a picture of us together, and you can bet that if I'm ever blessed to go back to Joska, I'll remember Marilyn's name. Because I felt so blessed that she remembered mine.

 

Anywhere in the World

A few weeks ago in Flipt, we asked the kiddos if they could go anywhere in the world where would the go and why. Then we voted on the best answer and the trip we’d all take together.

The winner?

They wanted to go to Africa and tell people about Jesus.

I’m a few hours away from my 6^th trip across the ocean. I’m giddy with excitement, slightly nervous about the plane flight and hopeful that the weather will cooperate.  This week has been filled with late packing nights, hurried notes about things to not pack and text messages about what we should take for the rain. Phones charging for a 20 hour flight, out of office emails written, countdowns nearing completion.

Amidst all the hustle and bustle of getting ready, I have to remind myself to pause. To pray. To remember the most important thing isn’t whether or not I’ve packed the right SPF sunscreen or if we have pan flutes enough… the most important thing is Jesus. Sharing Him, Showing His love, remembering His sacrifice and the incredible gift He gave.

I’ve been ridiculously blessed… I still can’t believe I get to live this life. I love you all so much. I’m off to take a trip to the proven best place to travel in the world and be a small part of what God is doing there.

A Trust Fall

I’m in this amazing Bible Study (Armor of God, by Priscilla Shrier), and this week the focus was all about righteousness.  While I read and learned many things over the last 7 days, one thing really stuck out to me: my need to pray specific prayers.

I’m great at praying specifically for others (especially when they tell me how), but when it comes to praying for myself, I’m usually a lot more vague.

“Help me to be kind.”

“Show me your path.”

“Give me Wisdom.”

“Forgive Me.”

Notice something? They’re all nice little fragments. Fleshing them out not only allows the Spirt to convict me (where am I being unkind? What am I walking towards now instead of God?) but also to encourage me (when I ask for forgiveness and repent of specific transgressions, I can also respond with thanksgiving that I have already been forgiven!)

God is so gracious to me. Yesterday (yes, just about 24 hours ago), I cried out for a life verse. I felt as though others around me have been saying more and more often “oh, yes, that’s one of my life verses,” and I had felt a desire to have one too. So I asked. For a scripture to “hang my hat on.” Something that felt central to what God is doing in and through me now.

At the beginning of study tonight I had a thought. I think my verse will be revealed tonight. I quickly brushed that aside. I’m not going to put God on a timeline. It may take time for Him to reveal my verse to me.

Study started and we went through last week’s homework. Lots of verses peppered the pages, but none of them resonated deep enough for me. See, I was right. Tonight is not the night. But then I flipped the page to the study page for tonight.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7

Guys! It was my life verse! I love this verse, and I’ve clung to it again and again in different times and places. But I’ve never claimed it as something for my every day (Yes, I know it says in every situation. Apparently I had chosen to replace “every” with “some”).

Okay. So that was like a “yay!” moment, but let’s be honest. That’s a common verse, and maybe not “personal” enough for a life verse. But here is where God is so flipping cool.

I don’t think I have ever prayed for gentleness before this last week. I’m not sure why, it could be because it’s one of the last of the Fruits of the Spirit and I subconsciously thought I needed to somehow “master” them in order.” But suddenly, a week ago I started praying to be more gentle. That I would stop rushing by people in my hurry to get through tasks. That my words would be soft, and my tongue slow, that I would encourage life with my actions.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Phil 4:4-5

Look what’s there, right in Phil 4! J Seriously, I’m still sitting here in awe of our God and how He moves.

This may be rambling and disjointed. It’s almost 10pm, which is crazy late for me. But I wanted to at least get this much out, maybe I’ll clean it up later . Love you all. So blessed to go on this journey through life with you!