2,922 days later

It's been 8 years.

8 years since we got off the plane at the very-much-under-construction airport. 8 years since Kristen and I waited for the last box of supplies to arrive at the baggage claim and to realize there were no more carts to help us transport 4 huge suitcases and 4 large Rubbermaid containers. 8 years since my first glimpse of Jamie's wide smile and Jolly's sly humor.

In some ways it feels like so much longer than 8 years. My Luo language skills have long since vanished and I wouldn't be able to tell you the names of any traditional Acholi dances. In other ways, it's like it was yesterday. I still remember the taste of morning tea and cassava, served with Annette's sweet smile. I can hear the bells from the church across of the intern house and feel the wind from the back of a boda boda. My heart still warms when I see the pictures of my friends on Facebook and wonder how their children can be growing so quickly when we all still look the same.

Time is a strange thing.

I'll be forever grateful to Invisible Children for taking a chance on a girl who hadn't yet crossed the Atlantic and letting her experience life alongside their amazing staff. (I still laugh when I think about the application video that I submitted - I think I actually have a copy somewhere...) So much of who I am today is because of the amazing experience of living in Gulu. 

I've said it again and again, but it's so true. I'm so in awe of this life I've gotten to live. The grace upon grace that I've received. The people I've known, the smiles I've seen and the love I've felt. 

The past 8 years have been full of highs and lows (of course- it's life! :)) I'm still learning to discern God's voice from my own desires. To love recklessly and to give fearlessly. To ignore feelings of guilt, but to learn and abide by my feelings of conviction. To live a life of adventure with God and to invite others along to see His Joy, Grace and Mercy abound.

Here's to the next 8!

A Slice of Humble Pie

I've been know to be terrible about asking for help. I could list excuses or dredge out a sad backstory, but I know a-lot all of it comes down to pride. I like to think that I can do it all, that I can handle it. I'm Super Betsy - able to hold her life together with her own strength, skills and duct tape. I don't need assistance or support, I've got my street smarts (honed in the rough neighborhoods of Alta Loma, no less) and a fancy college diploma.

It's such a lie. I'm dependent every day on the grace and mercy of God. But not only that, I need the people around me. Their strengthens, their help, their wisdom. We are created to live in community, its throughout the Bible and is so evident in our lives.

I know that God is calling out this prideful streak in me. That while I like to lie to myself and say things like "it's just that I don't want to be a burden," the truth is that I want to be seen as having it all together.  But again and again He's placing me in situations where I have no choice but to ask for help. From sending me to a country where I didn't speak the language to putting on my heart the need to raise support for my next trip to Kenya to having a busted knee that doesn't let me push my own cart when I'm grocery shopping, the last few weeks have been tough. I've had to reach out for more prayer and be more open. I've had to admit that I really couldn't do something on my own and allow others to come alongside me.

It's been beautiful. I have been struck again and again by the amazingness of the people God has blessed me with.  To be able to rejoice in the fact that we've all be created differently - to get to see others use their strengths.

I'm still bad about asking for help. I've been chastised by my roommates for not asking for help taking stuff upstairs and I'm already trying to worm out of raising support. But God is working in me. Even in writing this post! When I wrote about getting to see others use their strengths, He reminded me that by not asking for help, I'm missing out of the beauty of seeing the Kingdom of Heaven work together. I always pray to be part of bringing heaven closer to Earth, and I'm learning that exposing my weaknesses and allowing others to show me grace can be a part of that.

A post for a slightly broken body

Some days seem difficult.

When you bust your knee and the time you've spent in the waiting room feels interminable. The drive to the hospital is lonely and your company at home is hundreds of ants that keep finding their way through crevices and into your lunch box. Lonely, hurting and emotional, you've got all the ingredients you need for a pity party of one.

But I am so blessed.

To live in a country where a busted knee can receive quality medical care. To have a job where the waiting room is just an annoyance of time, but not a place to worry if the bills will stack up so high that their payment means I may not eat. I have a car to drive and a home for their ants to find their way into. Friends and family to text and call, medicine to dull the pain and a God who listens to all my hurts, justified or not.

It's so easy to get caught up. To not see all the good and the joy and the blessing. To focus on the physical, the pieces of me that are so bound up in the world. I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit, who whispers words of grace into my soul.

I'm not perfect. I've shed tears and felt frustrated throughout the day. But I also know, this is such a small part of my story - that to focus on it would endanger my ability to see the bigger picture. So I'm praying for the ability to keep it all in perspective



 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ² Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, ³ because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵ Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

2 Corinthians 5:1-5