One of my favorite stories in the Bible is of Jacob wrestling with an angel. I just love the idea of God allowing us to enter into a mental, physical or spiritual struggle with Him as we seek to understand more about Love. And I love that at the end of the story Jacob is reminded that God is God and he, oh goodness, is not (the healing time for a broken hip is a long time, so I’m sure that’s a lesson he remembered for a bit). And then Jacob gets a new name, a new identity, a new hope, which is better than anything he could have asked for or imagined.
I often “wrestle” with God about a lot of things, and while I have never had a hip broken over any of them, I am always gently (or not so gently) reminded that God is God and I, oh goodness, am not. And time and time again, I am blown away by the answer, the solution or the resolution of our struggle, as God teaches me things I never thought I could learn, gives me blessings I never thought I’d receive, allows me to live a life far more amazing than I could ever ask for.
Currently, I feel as though God and I are in the middle of a giant series of matches (I know nothing about wrestling, are there tournaments?) over a wide variety of questions of have. So, here is the first in what may be a series of blogs on me and God, and the “conversations” were having…
It starts with Love, as it always does and always should. I want to love People. I think they’re all pretty swell. And I think one of the best ways to love people is to get to know them. Hang out, listen to their stories. Be joyful when they’re joyful, sad when they’re sad (and, yeah, these ideas aren’t really mine, they’re from a pretty cool book I have ;)).
So, in order to love people, I need to know them. Which brings me to one of the things God and I are talking about: the Responsibility for Education About People.
In the 21st century, living in middle class America, I have been blessed to have a wealth of information right at my finger tips. With time, determination and a bit of ingenuity, I can find out a lot. And while some information may be harder to find (i.e. struggles of people living in less wealthy countries that don’t garner much international attention), it’s still there, if you’re willing to dig a little.
God and I have been talking about how much I need to know about the world. I talk with Him about my “emotional fragility,” my abundance of empathy, the fact that I have a difficult time compartmentalizing my feelings and not letting them run roughshod over my life. “What if I learn to much about it, and am no longer able to be functional?” And then I talk with Him about the fact that my not knowing doesn’t stop it from happening, that my willful attempt to live “blissfully ignorant” doesn’t prevent the suffering of men, women and children. Then I counter with the fact that I’m not the savoir of the world, he’s done that job. And besides, what can one person do? But then, I am reminded that one person can do a lot, even if it’s to tell one other person who’ll tell another person who’ll tell… you know, another person. And eventually people will know and things can start to change…
But then, where do you start? The world is so vast, the internet so large. And it’s difficult to find things on it. (it was very frustrating not being able to monitor the peace talks in Uganda… it took me awhile to find the New Vision, but even that is a biased newspaper… sigh). Do I go with Burma? It’s making headlines, and I know there is so much going on in that country that I don’t know about. Or do I chose a different country, like Angola, a country I know absolutely nothing about and may even have difficulty finding on a map…
There is so much to know, so many people. And yes, I am just one. And I can’t know it all, can’t do it all. But I feel like I have a Responsibility. To take the fact that I have been blessed with access, with intelligence, with community, with resources, with all these things… and do something with it.
God and I are still wrestling with what that looks like. I hope the match ends soon. My brain is tired, my heart needs resolution, and I’m a bit worried about my hip.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I've been engaged in more of a pugilistic approach in my grapplings; like Ultimate Fighting actually. Yet I think on my circumstance it has not been God or one of his bearers, but rather with my own pathetic, limited view of my place in the world. As you mentioned, "what can one person do?" I'm so miniscule and when I try to help I often muck it up. But that's when God steps in and either offers a hand to get me back to my corner so i can regroup or he steps up as the ultimate bada__ and gives me a boot to the head. I love that he can be both trainer and fighter as my soul's state needs. Last thought-Here in the land of tree huggers and liberal professor types, I often see this and it reminds me there is a way to make sure more people get to grapple: Think globally. Act locally. So let's do it. Oooooh, that's the hard part-ouch! Crap-back to the ring for a bit I guess. See you on the mat sister :)
Post a Comment