Saturday, July 19, 2008

odds and ends...

I spent quite a bit of time this week with one of my favorite people... we went to hear one of my favorite authors speak, listened to an accordion player praise God, attended a open air symphony and ordered my first serving of green tea yogurt. She's one of the people in my life who make me feel less "crazy," mirroring some of my desires to travel the world, read as many good books as possible and learn how to love others well.

During one of our many conversations, we started talking about how our 6-monthiversary of being back stateside is coming up in August (me from Uganda, her from Thailand/Vietnam), and how difficult we imagine it will be. To see how some of the changes we made in ourselves slipped away, how easy some of our bad habit cropped up again…

I know that too many of mine have managed to sneak back in. Some of them are heartbreaking and will be difficult to remedy: my tendency to doubt people’s desire to have me around, my inclination towards low self-esteem, while others will require determination and accountability: how much time I spend with T.V. and book instead of people, my difficulty saying no, my propensity to become a bit antisocial…

It’s rather bummy, because I liked who I was when I came back from Uganda- a bit surer of myself, somehow stronger if a little idealistic.

I’m determined to get back, although unsure about how. I’ll let y’all know how it goes. :)

No comments: